Clean Living

To all those without the perfect life..I’m there with you

“Exist to be happy, not to impress.”

Being a military spouse, I always hear of how envious people are of us. “You get to move across the country!” “I’ve wanted to see Europe.” “Your family looks so perfect & happy.” And yes, I love exploring and seeing new places, but I hope social media hasn’t put out this false image of our lives.

We fight. We cry. We act irrationally. I see photos of friends who are settled down & who get to choose where life takes them, not where the Army does and my heart aches for that.

Justin and I are from a small town in Missouri. I could tell you everybody’s name in my entire class growing up. We know the back county roads. There are families there who we’d do anything for and who’d do anything for us. And I miss it. I miss having a tribe even if I never realized I had it. I never thought I’d miss that town, but visiting big places is different than living in them. No amount of essential oils, yoga, running, or meditation can fix me. So without further ado, here’s how I really feel about all this moving and changing our lives all the time.

Dear Friends,

I love reading all the nice comments & interacting with everyone over messenger. Your comments always make me feel good & lift me up & I hope I do the same for you.

But, I read about how social media is causing more people to be sad & depressed. They see these unrealistic lives, all the positives & perfects people post without sharing vulnerability, & I hope my posts don’t do this others.

As much as I don’t care about my looks (those who know me from high school know this to be extremely true), I wanna share what I see when I see this photo: my eyes look exhausted, my smile forced, my arms aren’t as toned as they use to be, this angle is horrible, I’m probably gonna snap on the girls over something unimportant then regret it, & I’m resentful. I love Germany, but it gets lonely & I miss all the amazing relationships I’ve made over the years & get pissed when I think about the times I was (or they were) forced to move. Whether this separated an amazing friendship of mine or my children’s. I know if we lived in one spot all these years, I’d have more time with my babies & a job to look forward to going back to where I can hear things from patients like “I didn’t want to come here to give birth, but you have made it a great experience” or “when you walked into the room I was excited to see you as my nurse.”

These sound silly & I know I should be more grateful NOW for my time with my kiddos I won’t get back, but I love feeling like me & helping others.

I just wanted to share with you friends how, even when you don’t care what you look like and love life, that you may feel like there’s always greener pastures somewhere else. I’m big on giving off positivity & happiness because that’s what I want to attract from others. I’m always wondering what battles others are battling & I love to listen if you ever need someone to lean onto. ❤️

I hope y’all have fabulous weekends & the weather stays cool for fall finally! Xoxo

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